Rustic Princess: Knit One, Paddle Too

Weddings

2011-01-21T23:22:00.002-07:00

I probably will need to re-edit this some more as I am typing away in an ambien fueled haze. I have two sisters. Both of which are getting married in the near future. My darling mother has decided that I am her sounding board on all things wedding. I'm used to it though. I'm the only one besides my dad with a natural sense of style. My sisters and mom can put an outfit together if they see something similar on a mannequin, but my dad and I are better and envisioning what is missing to make a piece have that "pop".

Anyways. Lately it's been photographers. So i've been spending a lot of time right before bed, all fueled up on ambien looking at wedding portfolios. and you know what? I WANT A WEDDING! I just want to have a dress and a groom and a gorgeous sawtooth backdrop and a photo to take it all in. I dont necessarily want to be married. I guess, just a good picture of me in a gown in the mountains. Doesn't everyone?

Plus, looking at these pics makes me think that romantic love really does exist. It's like Jesus or the Easter Bunny, just b/c I've not personally seen or experienced it doesn't mean that it's meant for others to have and believe it. Right?

I've dated a little in the past, I'm not too jaded and I think that a person reading my list of don't wants would be more surprised I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere instead of being single in salt lake.

Based on my true life dating history I do not want to experience again anyone who is:

homeless

jobless (b/c of being lazy, not the independently wealthy kind)

phoneless

carless

a crack whore

living in a van

waiting for his "true love" so they can conceive only days after we no longer see each other

waiting for his "true love" only to find out she's awful and he should have stayed with me

someone that takes a vegetarian to a meat-only restaurant

someone that doesn't drink at all

someone that drinks too much, like all the time, like a functioning alcoholic

someone that points out where he was conceived on our first date

someone that doesn't realize how lucky he is to be out on a date with me.

Here's the kicker, most every single one of the list items came from a DIFFERENT dude. Seriously.

my dating life sucks. its not going to get better living in a place where the last pick up line i got was "so....how do you feel about married guys?"

Fuck my life.

Post Holiday Road Trip: Issue 1

2010-12-26T13:07:00.001-07:00

Not 2 miles from our start I lightheartedly ask my sister to not only lock her new handgun but to hide it from me so that I don't kill myself. She told me it's not like I'm going to be playing with a loaded gun. I reminded her of the fact that I am on SSRIs and an unfortunate side effect is suicide. (An effect that for me manifests itself sometimes as wishing for death without ever acting on it, yet.) Her response you ask? 'Well, I guess if you are so sad that you'd kill yourself then you probably should.'

Only 5.5 more hours to go!

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Funny cause it's true.

2010-06-30T23:20:00.003-06:00

In light of my new foray into Giant Dating Website, I thought I'd post a drawing that I found online. I've been laughing at it all week, along with some of the others, like this and this. And a mantra I try to remember.

p.s. Also, while trying to save this image to post I accidentally named it Pron and Disney. Then I did the same thing when typing in labels. Dyslexics untie!

My Tribe

2010-06-11T11:14:00.001-06:00

I was just now reading the synopsis of "If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You". A book about how to succeed in the modern world bing a woman. There was a part that said there were chapters on how to find your tribe. It described the tribe as those like-minded souls who make your heart sing and that just made me smile-cry. I love the word tribe because to me it means a group of people that are not all biological family but have chosen to live together in a community and make shit work. Lately it's feels like my tribe is scattered to the four winds, literally. What little members I discover within my area code are in transition and have either moved away, are moving away, or plan to in the next year or two. I heard once that you replace 1/2 of your friends every 7 years. I've done that 3 times over in just the past 3. 9 times if I go out a little over 10 years. It has made me much more resilient to change and helped me to learn that distance is just a number.

Music Time Travel

2010-05-04T11:23:00.001-06:00

There are lots of songs that take me back and even some that I can help me pinpoint a specific moment in my own history. Right now it is David Gray's White Ladder and the southbound lane of Cole at Overland, Boise. Late morning, Fall 2001. Three months before finding out it was going to be *just* a breast cancer scare. I was 21.

I run, I run so far away.

2010-04-26T14:39:00.001-06:00

I'm really feeling today that I just want to run away to something that feels more real.

Messages from my cell phone.

2010-04-22T20:46:00.005-06:00

From my Inbox:

There was a doctor that was talking about his wife farting under the covers today. I wanted tell him it was an easy bake oven.

--That's DUTCH OVEN!

It's kinda nice that that guy keeps calling u even if he is old penis showing dancer man. If only we could find that kind of persistence in a guy under forty.

--(see below for references to penis showing Iraqi; there was going to be a blog about it but I can't bring myself to recall it without therapy)

I just passed a guy in walmart telling his three year old not to act the fool.

yes.you.can

--(sent nov 11 2008 1:02 am)

So you u think sister 1 would like a snuggie for christmas? It's funny yet thoughtful.

What is the answer to everything?

--Surface area.

ok i will fo show

--from sister 2 who is ALWAYS trying to translate slang into regular english words.

Move here! Sea animals are fucking tasty.

--They sure are!

this.is.a.drunk.text. i really love my dog. also, remind.me to give you twenty cents.

If that's real it better a temp because your dad will have a shit fit and will cut you out of the will and i am not kidding

--When I sent my mother a picture message of a henna tattoo I had

Now ones that are my own fault...

Sent =

Day in the life of RP. Just got a pro-abstinence talk from bossman who compared men to dogs and called sex fish bait. Women only have "so many lures".

--I wish I could say things like this were a rare occurrence :(

lol. you guys are too young to comprehend that much crazy!

I will pay the fees but feel you should be aware of the fact that i just made out with a drunk iraqi on the dance floor to born in the usa!

--It's true, at this point I was just drunk enough to kiss a stranger and not think anything of it.

OMFG! I am NOT fucking an iraqi! Think up an escape plan!

--Then I sobered up a bit because of...

[I'm in the] Bathroom! I may or may not have had had contact with penis.

--It was a may. Still gives me the shivers.

I got a sex toy catalogue in the mail. Don't ask. I was just as surprised. I don't wanna spoil the surprise but MERRY CHRISTMAS! (you like catalogues, right?)

--I really wish I'd have mailed that catalogue to her.

My brain said diet coke but my mouth said PBR :(

--When DOESN'T it?!

Looking at growlers of wine and missing you :(

I just came to the haunting realization that not only does ms. pres sleep with mr. pres, but that she most likely has had his wanker in her mouth at some point.

o yarn you keep me:

poetry haiku kiss you:

rhinoceroses

An adult woman walked out of the theatre with a fucking blanket. Her hubs held her purse while she wrapped up. Initially thought it was a snuggie sighting!

Signs

2010-04-14T23:07:00.002-06:00

Today, when I opened up my wallet to pay for my Black and Blu Garden burger I had several quarters. Of the ones that were "state side" up I had Utah, North Dakota, Alaska, AND Washington!!! That just so happens to be the state I just applied to work in while all the others are states that I've already lived in. I MUST believe in signs, now!

(Pennsylvania was also face up, but I take that as a gimmie b/c I 'd never move there anyways (not that I know of at least)).

Job Sitch

2010-03-17T22:51:00.003-06:00

UGH!! Having a VERY frustrated moment thinking about work....

For what I want to do, (really do, not just jobs that I wouldn't mind settling for), in places that I would want to live (after ND, I realize I am NOT the type of person that blooms easily where planted, no matter how hard I try), that are longer than 2 years or permanent, that pay a decent wage for the level of education and experience I have, and using the outlets that I know to look for jobs I've seen FIVE jobs in the past two years and ten months that fit. Of the five, two were for the same job, for the same guy. Another two were for the same lab for the same boss but slightly different jobs.

2 were right after I verbally agreed to a minimum of 18 months at my current position

1 went to a PhD. I didn't even get a phone interview, but it was understandable.

1 I came in a close 2nd to getting (and I still hope some days to get a random call from the PI saying it just didn't work out and asking me if I am still interested in moving to a quaint little village by the sea)

The last one is still open. I'm working on revising my letter that i sent to them a little over a year ago and updating my resume. If I learned anything from the last Federal job that I applied to its that it doesn't matter if you get your application in a month before the deadline, no one looks at it until then anyways. So, I'm saving myself a month of agony and working on it this weekend and next. I'm also not telling anyone much about it, b/c the more I learn about it, the more I think its an even BETTER fit than the one I tried for last year! Researching the group today I found their newsletters and learned a lot more about who does what and realized that not only do I already do what they want in the job description at my present gig, but I'd be a GREAT match for the lab. (the town, on the other hand, is hard to get a feel for vie the interwebs)

What I do know is that up until 2 days ago it was only advertised on the fed gov't career board. Then I saw it on the American Fisheries Society job board, which means that more people will see it, competition will be tight, and I need to bring my A game to this application.

Good thing I already have a copy of an A-game app from the 2nd place job ;)

Someone needs a vacation.

2010-03-16T10:32:00.001-06:00

Work, both jobs, has been driving me a bit batty lately and it is evident in my dreams. This morning I woke up mid-dream and in it I had been chain-smoking bowls the size of walnuts in Alaska.

Everything you ever wanted to know about showers.

2010-03-15T22:51:00.006-06:00

I am just going to say, Natalie Dee, I love her! Her shit is funny, those of you who disagree can just suck on it. You've seen my post on raisins and the follow-up comic, which is from Nat Dee. I particularity love anything she's ever done on knitting. Like the end, the pile of failure, a non-knitting one, and even this, because if I wasn't such a pussy I'd already have at least one tattoo.

Lately, she to be channeling directly into my brain. I've got EXACTLY what I needed here, here, and here. This week is neuroses week and today's was about showers. (FYI the titles to the comics are not always in the comic itself and are sometimes the BEST part of the whole thing. Shower's was "Do you want conditioner water flowing over your clean face like an animal") The shower one. Have you seen it?! Friends, I do the SAME damn thing. I thought I was just being efficient but now I wonder if I have a problem and if there are people that wash themselves all willy-nilly; and if there are, how do these willy-nilly people keep track of what's clean and what's still needing cleaning, how to they maximize shower time in an effort to save water so that America doesn't dry up into dust and blow away into the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?! Although I have an order, it is slightly different from the comic/true life diagnosing pictorial for the hypochondriac.

My order is: 1st wash hair (on hair shampooing days, not to run back to back unless extenuating circumstances have developed and not to exceed 4 days, and usually every other day).

2nd wash face with facial cleanser with back to shower flow so as to rinse aforementioned shampoo out of hair (to save time = water) while washing face in small, gentle, circular motions.

2b.v.1 exfoliating facial cleanser may be used only on days when shampoo is applied and may also be used after shampoo is rinsed IF face is particularly dirty so as to necessitate a pre-clean with facial cleanser

3rd put in conditioner, comb with wide-toothed comb to remove stray hairs from the shedding beast of a head that I possess (preferably non-plastic so as to reduce the amount of plastic bits that enter my body while my skin is vulnerable and my pores are open. I do not have a wooden comb right now and have had to revert to a plastic one. A wooden comb is on the shopping list). Always allow conditioner to incubate while completing the next step.

4th Wash the body starting up at the neck and working to the feet with a swoop around back to the fanny cause I decided it's more respectable to have foot germs on my ass than ass germs on my foot.

5th Rinse conditioner and squeeze the last gallon of water out of the hair beast.

All of this usually happens in less than five minutes and DEFIANTLY in less than 10. Exceptions to length are made for the occasional, and I mean "is there ANY chance a random stranger will see my pits or feel my legs tonight?" shaving episode. When there is a chance, shaving happens between Steps 3 and 4 with the addition of being extra sure to rinse the back of the tub towards the drain with the hand-shower to keep it all tidy and clean.

HOWEVER, now I am wondering about this "conditioner water" Natalie Dee speaks of. Have you heard of it? Considered it? I may have to change my whole routine!!! I mean, I've almost stopped washing my face mid-small, circular motions when I realize there is no shampoo in my hair on shampoo days. I really don't want to have to re-tool this protocol. It's a finely tuned and well oiled machine. I've cut out the fancy body washes and gadgets in an effort to streamline process. Mixing up the steps would require addendum's for days when I use a conditioner that is specifically meant to be left in 3 to 5 minutes (what I use on hope-to-get-sum days).

I can't even think about it right now. The fact that I've been able to write an ENTIRE post on my shower routine is just too much.

Tomorrow morning you can bet money I'll be thinking about this "conditioner water" as it runs down my freshly Dr. Bronner's Peppermint shined ass.

Friends

2010-02-21T01:39:00.002-07:00

As I just texted to E, the main difference between my single lady friends and my married lady friends is that the married ladies will make you dance with hot man with stellar abs and try to get you to get his number before they take you home. Single lady friends will let you dance with him then tell you goodbye and to call them in the morning when you are ready to be picked up from aforementioned hot man with stellar abs' house.

I love both kinds.

Why I love Social Media

2010-02-02T15:11:00.001-07:00

Of the 34 birthday wishes that I got this year (only counting facebook) 62% of them were from people that live far from me. 4 of them were from out of the country, the furthest being almost 5,000 miles away IF we go as the crow flies! Even though only 9 of these were from people within at least a 2 hour drive, and even though FB "reminds" us when our friend's birthdays are coming up, I still felt liked/acknowledged/appreciated/loved. I didn't have to go to the liquor store just to get someone to say "Happy Birthday!". Utah can, sometimes, feel like a rather lonely place. Of the handful of states I've lived in, this place is the worst for making friends (and even worse for making "special" friends). There are lots of theories on why that is, but I won't go into it here. No matter how lonely some days can feel, having a high-speed internet connection can help you feel that love is just a few whizzes of electrons away. Even though that may sound cold or even sterile, sometimes it's just enough.

That's what she said...

2010-02-01T20:35:00.007-07:00

At the casino on Saturday there were several good "that's what she said" moments. The two best may be: "Hey, Meg, will you put this in your hole for me?" As I asked her to protect my drink for roofies while she sat at the blackjack table and I ran to the ladies room. "It's getting TOO big for my hand!" Referring to the large stack of poker chips I was winning! (Although, then having you're dude friend lean in and whisper that, either way, it's not really a bad thing, can be a bit awkward)

Good times were had by all.

that's what she said.

(crying on the inside)

2010-01-31T21:17:00.004-07:00

Took the Fun Bus to Wendover last night to celebrate my big three ohh and the classiest casinos this side of Reno. The random stranger sitting next my sister was kind enough to inform me that in ten (yes 1 0) I'll be a cougar.

waaaaaaahhhhhh.

Status Update

2010-01-17T11:21:00.004-07:00

I realize that people edit there "friend list" and what not so as to keep the number of contacts to a nil. I used to be one of those people. Then I got to a point where there were people that I wanted to have current contact information from, even though we may not speak often. Some of these people are ones I want to have an eye on; for my own peace of mind.

As such, I can't always post true status updates. Oh!! This is totally a problem of the 1) 1st world 2) 21st century & 3) our narcissistic generation.

[What was my FB status last night? "had lovely curry (thanks to Chanon Thai) for dinner and now feels quite lovely herself. Anyone with no plans for Sunday can come on down to Yoga, as she will be her lovely self all day there :)" This lovely message was brought to you in part by Ambien]

What is it today? "is restless"

What did I WANT it to be? "is not content even though that is what she has been working on for weeks. She is ready to settle down but not ready to concede to Utah. She is ready to start a career in what she went to school for not slaving to the man who is getting rich by underpaying his employees and over charging his customers. Ready to be out of debt already! Ready to consider the possibility of belonging to a person, a place, a lifestyle?"

Before anyone goes off on "you are in charge of your destiny" know that I AM working towards all of that. I am paying major dollars to my student debt so that I will have the freedom to accept potentially lower paying and/or temporary jobs doing something that will make me want to get out of bed in the morning and in a place where I can see myself setting roots. I am working on getting in shape so that I will live long enough to do these things and so that other people will see how pretty I feel I am. For a long time I didn't care about either of those. Depression can be a silent beast that you don't even know exists until he's left for a while. It's just a long, hard road; it has been for a few years now. There is FINALLY light at the end of the tunnel, but it is a tiny, speck of a pinhole. The days like today, when our air quality is the worst in the nation and I can't seem to catch my breath, and the ones hard to work thorugh. When the air is not only smoggy and cloudy but also foggy, its hard to see the sunshine."

As you see, that is not something that could, or should, be posted on FB without fear of repercussion...

Fatherly Dating Advice #217

2010-01-14T20:20:00.002-07:00

"You could get a gun to keep in your purse. Then, when you go to the range to practice you could meet a nice guy that likes guns too!"

Hum...

2010-01-14T20:17:00.004-07:00

I keep getting these emails from a dating site. I'm starting to wonder if I signed up for one in a fit of Ambien bliss. Worse things have happened...

With friends like this....

2010-01-12T23:43:00.005-07:00

I want to write about lots of things. All the time. I see or think of things things most days that make me laugh. I never get around to writing them down. I think the amount of detail I want to include causes me to put posts on the back burner until i have the time to report the details (e.g. the NYE 3-part series I am currently mulling over)

Perhaps a resolution should be to just post. Not worry about the bits I forget or don't have time for; but just make it more of a free form art of things I want to remember.

In that spirit, an excerpt from a convo I had just now. This will also be a double whammy as I not only get to archive the event we were chatting about but also the type of conversation (most of mine are similar to this). It all started because I was watching the movie Adam.

Rustic Princess: i just get so damn caught up into movies. its like i am there! no matter how bad the movie is!! cant help it

L (friend): awe.

RP: good soundtrack

L: also clutch.

RP: ?

L: oh clutch. like cool

RP: lol. not heard that one.

L: i'm bringin' it

RP: did just learn about rule 34

L: what's that?

RPt: if it exists, there is porn of/with it

L: oh that's a cool rule. give me an example before i go to bed

RP: k. Today, my family was watching a movie and before it started, there was a trailer for American Pie. At the end of the trailer, somebody pushes the sides of his PB&J so that it looks like a vagina. My mom said "Haha! Rule 34!" IMMD. (From the Blog, It Made My Day)

L: ok... i guess i see it.

RP: i think its a dude thing

L: i read about some dude trying to bone his bike.

RPt: ewww

L: like the top tube or something

RP: well, some dude came into our lab today looking for a missing part, from like 3 years ago.

L: what kind of parts?!

RP: and described it as penis shaped. i shit you not

L: HAHA. omg. wtf he'd totally been playing with it and wanted it back. omg. awesome.

RP: like, i was trying to get a better description so id know what i was looking for and he just said that and i was all "ah, okay". cause apparently im the type of gal that knows what cock looks like

L: haha. did you blush so bad?!

RP: i have no idea. i was head first in a cabinet

L: haha. epic. it's a compliment

RP: lol

L: haha! you were head first in a box

RP: for reals. i think its blog worthy. lol

L: hahahaha. love it. RP was in a box and a dude was looking for his cock. i'm endlessly amused

RP: now ima gonna blog this convo!

L: haha. you'd better

Happy Days.

2009-09-29T12:04:00.001-06:00

Nothing makes a day just a bit brighter than knowing that your undies have 100's of tiny, rainbow stars on them.

Thought of the day.

2009-09-16T17:05:00.002-06:00

Of coarse I'm smart; I didn't get through college on my looks OR my knees!

Flickr Meme

2009-06-23T16:13:00.002-06:00

Flickr Meme

the rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker.

the questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

1. Dreamer, 2. Curves of Ali-Qapu, 3. Red Poppies And A Dramatic Sunset Sky, 4. Fishin' Remuz, 5. mango cheesecake, 6. day 178 : great friends, 7. oh hai, love., 8. Intensidad... o Lago Fagnano, 9. Brother, 10. Main Street, 11. Mack-Aroni & Cheese, 12. Baa, Baa Black Sheep

Messages from my cell phone.

2009-06-19T13:25:00.003-06:00

D just told me. "Tell Rustic Princess I need my wiener sucked."

--Who ARE these people I call my friends?

I just had to rool up at CVS for percocet, depends, gas medicine, and suppositories. I am a damn good sister!

I just wrangled a donkey out of a swamp using a four wheeler and a rope. I'm awesome.

Infantile evasion!

RP-The more I think about it the more okay I am with going to work hungover.

S- Ooh, that sounds like a challenge!

RP- HUNGOVER, not STILL DRUNK!

S-Oh come on. Live a little.

The Adventures of Madison and Rustic Princess!

2009-05-12T16:08:00.008-06:00

Let me tell you a little story about a dog named Madison and a girl named Rustic Princess. Madison was a big, white doggie. She was a Great Pyrenees! Rustic Princess was a big, white girlie. She was a Great Dogsitter! One day Madison's Dad and Mom had to go away for a week. This meant that Madison would have to live at the doggie day care for a week straight; with all the other crazy, loud, annoying doggies that just wouldn't leave her alone. Luckily for her, Rustic Princess was able to come stay at Madison's home and take care of her until her Mom and Dad got back from their trips to far off lands; like Costa Rica and Alabama! They did lots of fun things together like:

Go to the Airport in the back of a new kind of car that Madison had never been in, a JEEP!

At the airport they got to see a fun friend. She smiled a lot even though she thinks doggies are smelly.

They went to pick up hot babes at the dog park, but all that were there were old men with their bitches.

So, they went exploring,

and found a great fruit tree with pretty flowers deep in the woods of the park!

Madison did her part to help fertilize the plants, three times!

They enjoyed a small, fast waterfall.

Madison accidentally fell into a deep hole in the dog park pond.

She swam fast to safety. Phew!

After they were both tuckered out from their park adventures they got into mom's car and hoped the mud stuck to Madison wouldn't stick to the car.

When they were at home they did all kinds of fun stuff, like bark at every single little noise that might happen to be a threat to all life on earth. They also did scientific experiments to find out how the couch blankets could get so smooshed down if they were spread out nice and smooth at night?

Madison had her hypotheses.

In the end, they had a great time and became the best of friends!

THE END

It's all about the delivery.

2009-04-20T17:04:00.003-06:00

Apparently, this weekend my mother had a little bit of combat training for her concealed weapons course. As it was described by my father, she had to run out to a goal, round it and run back then hit a target. In a second phase, she had to maneuver an obstacle course while shooting "bad guy" targets. The entire time she wasn't allowed to stop moving or shooting. If she ran out of ammo, she had to reload on the fly, whilst looking side to side for "robbers". Now, for those of you who don't know my mother, running isn't her strong suit. Moving isn't really even her strong suit. She actually thought she had a health problem because she is 50 pounds over weight (in her opinion, really only about 15lbs over if you ask anyone else). Her doctor said he was going to help her and had a plan for her "health problem". It's called the Eat Less, Move More plan. HA! She was not happy and I wouldn't be surprised if she drops this quack doctor; the same one she's had for over 20 years!

How to gross me the fuck out!

2009-04-16T12:45:00.003-06:00

While talking to me, use your finger to scratch the inside of you ear then pull it out and INSPECT what's on your finger AND then FLICK mystery ear dirt across the room AND THEN WIPE YOUR FINGER ON YOUR SHIRT!

Seriously! A scratch is one thing, but mining for greazy gold is not something to share with an audience.

We regret to inform you that the position has been filled.

2009-03-10T22:03:00.003-06:00

I'm considering gathering up my rejection letters from the past few years and having them screen printed onto fabric. Then I could make a quilt to display the collection. That way, whenever I am feeling high and happy, I can wrap up in it and be reminded of my under/over-qualified skill set!

Morning!

2009-03-05T09:45:00.002-07:00

This morning, the roomie came in, at 6:30AM! to let me know that the hot water was out, again, and that she was going to try to fix it, but not to get my hopes up. I rolled back over after telling her which breaker to flip, then a minute later realized that I might have told her wrong. So, I put on my robe and stumbled out into the hall of our apartment building to check it. Then I crawled back in bed cause it was 6:30 in the morning!

At about 7:15 I rolled over to the BRIGHTEST light coming from the the other side of the mini-blinds. I had a brief, yet volatile inner monologue that went somewhat like this: "What the fuck is that damn light?" "What time is it?" "What is going on?" "WHY IS IT SO DAMN LIGHT IN MY ROOM?!" "Its the sun." "It does that sometimes, you know, providing the Earth with energy so that we don't all die!" "But WHY is it SO bright?!" "`Cause it's morning". Later I also discovered that the fresh blanket of snow we got during the night was reflecting EVERY SINGLE SUNBEAM directly into my bedroom like a giant fucking mirror from hell!

I also had no hot water by 8:15 and, thus, no shower.

Biggest Loser-Western Division

2009-03-03T21:01:00.005-07:00

I am currently in week three of an eight week (8? I only have 5 weeks left?!) weight loss challenge with my friend, E2. $50 is on the line! Since I've been doing so well, I thought this would just add a little more incentive to my goal achieving nature. I was wrong. Adding $ to it just made me hit a plateau.

Shortly after we had started this another friend asked me what my plan was. I told her that I didn't really have a plan other than to keep doing what I am doing (elliptical and yoga 2-3 times a week) and that E2 likes beer.

Well, E2 saw my hand and raised me one "I get to have lots of sex!"

So, I saw all her great, hot sex and raise her one "increase the roughage!".

Well, let me just say the last few days have be rough! I won't go into the details, but since Sunday morning I've probably had a movement just as many, if not more, times than I have put food into my mouth! Monday night I was so gaseous that swollen tummy help my fat pants up.

E2 has lost the lbs that I wanted gone by the end of February! SO not fair. Now, not only do I need to loose my February goal but I also have to catch up AND pass E2! Just tonight I went to a 75 minute vinyasa style yoga class. That was IMMEDIATELY followed by a brief, yet effective trip to the loo. I can tell I am going to be sore tomorrow, especially in my arms due to attempting crane pose. However, in the last month I've also noticed my back becoming stronger as well as my obliques.

It's going to be a long, long March.

Health Tip

2009-02-19T16:01:00.003-07:00

Tip: Never shop for food hungry.

Why it won't work for me: I often go for groceries on my way home from work. By then I am usually starved for dinner, hence the trip to the store.

Tip: Have a light snack before you shop for food.

Why it won't work for me: The only thing in my desk, or that I have access to at work is Mt. Dew, chocolate, and vitamins.

On a good note, I plan to stop by a local grocery that I've heard rave reviews for. I am planning on making Coconut Red Curry Soup with Butternut Squash and Lime. A recipe I found on Treehugger.com after a google search. I'm going to add a bit to the recipe; bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, fish sauce, fresh Thai chili, red bell pepper, and some steamed brown rice.

Grocery Tote Embellishments

2009-02-12T15:13:00.010-07:00

After making the two totes for E, the sister-roomie commissioned me to make her one. I used a similar pattern, but an alteration to the sides did not turn out correctly and I need to re-open the handles and make them a bit more "roomy". Also, on her bag I mistakenly cut the pattern and had to sew a seam in the middle of the bag. This also led to part of the handle problem. Below is an array of photos from A's bag as well as some detailed pictures from E's.

Backstiches on E's name and a close up of the color-coded boxes.

Detail of the Boxes bag. Although each square had the same printed colors, I embroidered only every other box with the same color scheme. I also varied the stitch type, but stuck mainly with back, running, and stem stitches.

A's bag had a hot pink lining and geo-flower printed turquoise exterior. Her name went onto the lining in chain stitch.

I used the printed pattern of the bad to make random flowers and vines. You can also see the seam up the middle from my mistake. I over-stitched it in a zig-zag with hot pink thread, it ended up looking great.

I tried to get pretty creative with colors and patterns.

The brighter colors didn't react well to the camera flash, but I think you can get the general idea.

The pink and yellow flower was my first, and probably one of my favorites. I was trying to get the center of the cream flower to not be so pointy; apparently I need more practice.

Felted Hoop Purse

2009-02-12T14:26:00.006-07:00

I created this hoop purse for E. It was my fist successful attempt at felting. It is from the book, Felt Forward, by Maggie Pace. The knitting part went easily enough. (Will update type of yarn and needle size later) Felting in the washer at my last apartment was interesting. There were no controls for temperature, so I just turned the control valves on the in-flow water pipes until the water reaching the washer wasn't too hot or too cold. I also ended up adding a few towels to the basin to help with agitation. Suggestions for future re-makes: 1) make sure to use a single piece of ribbon through the tube for the ring, tying two together doesn't work and 2) don't put the hoops in too early, it slows the felting process. Wet felt will stretch to the hoops faster than it will take for you to finish shrinking with the hoops in. 3) Order the hoops from the online store suggested in the book, its the only place I was able to find them.

Pre-felting. The hoops are 14" in diameter. Note the attempt at using tied ribbons. I got a yard but that was too short. Definitely need 1.5 to 2.0 yards.

Freehand embroidery. Essentially I ran a double threaded needle to make the "branch" outline then went back with a double threaded needle and satin stitched over the outline about 1/2". I then put french knots randomly at the ends of the branches. All of the ends were woven in rather securely. The brown is what the lining of the bag was made from.

The bag after felting. I stuffed it with plastic bags from the recycle bin and propped it up on a glass. Every day I switched flipped it so that the glass wouldn't leave a permanent impression in the felt. It took about 4 day to dry all completely, then I trimmed up the fuzz. Trimming off the fuss helped the brown to stand out more on the front.

Enjoying the designer style!

Science Nerd.

2009-02-12T14:19:00.003-07:00

This was my jack-o-lantern for 2008.

It says "Biohazard"

These are bio hazard "flowers" for those of you not in the biz. They are plastered on anything that might come into contact with any type of bodily tissue or fluid.

Grocery Totes.

2009-02-12T13:39:00.007-07:00

Ah Ha! Today I have my external hard drive hooked up to a computer with a much quicker connection. Thus, a plethora of crafting posts. The first of which will be about totes.

I made these totes a while back; last summer to be exact. I found a pattern online and modified it a bit to fit my tastes. As usual, I was so excited to send it off that I forgot to take after photos. Props to E and N for very graciously fulfilling my request for some excellent action shots.

I pin, A LOT!

In and insane moment of craftiness, I decided to embroider each little box with matching floss. I was glad that I did, but only after it was done!

I put E's name in them so that they wouldn't be swiped by her sneaky bf. He is sneaky. I should consider making him one of his own. It could be a good use of the vintage pin-up girls fabric that I see a the fabric shops.

Sneakyness manifested. Whilst shopping for plums from the plum booth booth man, E captures proof of N's use of the square bag. This one has longer straps so that it can be thrown over your shoulder while feeling up the produce (just don't let the plum man catch you).

Ugh, I miss the sunshine. I need to move to a place that has palm trees and sun year-round. the bag looks good too! N's probably waiting for a burrito. They have good burritos at the farmer's market. Shit, I'm hungry for burritos now.

Back home wit da goods. E has both bags here. The blue-green one was made with shorter handles, just like a plastic bad from the grocery.

I tried to cover this one with free-hand embroidered flowers. You can see just how far I got. E's name is also in this one and it has the same brown broad-cloth lining as the square one.

The Goods. Lets see. Cabbage, probably for some crazy cabbage soup or coleslaw. Broccoli, I can handle that. Cauliflower! WTF? Ish. Something that looks like mini-cabbages, probably for mini-cabbage soup or mini-cabbage coleslaw. A lone pear. Pears are yummy, especially with a thin slice of Parmesan on top. Yeah, cheese makes everything better.

Not even classy.

2009-02-11T18:41:00.003-07:00

The sister-roomie has been taking core classes at the local stripper school. The other night she came home as was eyeing the celling. I asked her what was wrong, thinking that we had a leak. She wandered off mumbling something about a stripper pole. I got up to investigate further and she said that she wants to install a stripper pole, in the middle of the living room, but that she doesn't think that she can do it without ruining the popcorn celling. I told her that I agreed, that I couldn't be done without ruining it. Not to mention the fact that I would never, ever be able to have friends over, ever!!

Thank you Grist!

2009-02-10T09:38:00.004-07:00

Thank you Grist.org, for filling my inbox today with such great titles as "An eco-friendly valentine's guide for the bitter and alone." Not only do I feel like I've been hit by a truck due to the hours of crying before sleep last night, but I am coming down with some type of bug and I get look forward to spending my holiday weekend with a drugged-up post-surgery roommate. I'm starting to wonder if I look shitty enough to be sent home from work for the rest of the day...that is until my SECOND job, which is when I would have to bundle up again to face the snow and traffic and angry mother-fucker yogis.

Summary, I think I am sick.

Haiku

2009-02-05T09:42:00.002-07:00

Last night I came up with a great Haiku for my friend over at NodakKnitting. However, this morning I realized that the number of syllables are slightly off. Now, Haiku's are hard and I don't have the time to fix it, so I am just going to stick with what I've got!

old job, i loved
email you could do
rhinoceros

Things I have to keep off of facebook.

2009-02-02T20:36:00.004-07:00

For some reason, I've become rather popular recently on my Facebook page. I've tried to embrace this change and as a result, ended up with quite a few people that may not really know the real me. I worry that some things said on my page may be taken out of context. In addition to this, my page, although private, is still not anoymous and as long as I've got resume's floating around I want my internet life to be straight edge.

Thus, what follows are quoates I've taken down from my page, but sill love and want to have up somewhere.

Enjoy.

Composting is a lot like sex. It's a healthy, natural process involving fertility, tumbling around, and -- when it's going right -- steaminess. On top of that, some people call it dirty. Grist.org

Where are my pants?! Anonymous.

Um, Princess, are you in the habit of loosing your pants a lot lately? K.

Girls have done worse for good dancer. Anonymous

How to annoy me.

2009-02-02T11:49:00.002-07:00

Throw a theme party based on some random object that you have and expect others to find similar objects in order to attend said party. (i.e. Red Dress, Orange Shirt, Unicycle, Ugly Sweaters, etc.)

Messages from my cell phone.

2009-01-27T21:20:00.002-07:00

Yay! The road to sex here we come!

Why my sister and I will never really connect.

2009-01-27T21:14:00.002-07:00

This evening the sister-roomie was talking on the phone to our cousin who is recently divorced, for the second time. They must be talking about that because sister's response was "Once you realize that men are accessories and women aren't it'll be much more fun and easier to date!" She then went on to explain that she came up with this in college when she heard a guy she was out with say that she was his accessory. Now, I'm all for standing up for yourself, and womankind, by not letting yourself become an object of decoration; but to flip that and apply it to men is just as wrong. The end.

Wine and Cheese Thursday!

2009-01-22T18:06:00.002-07:00

Tonight's selection...

A nice 2007 Beringer White Merlot and 2008 Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, vintage style.

Hey you, Mechanic!

2009-01-20T09:13:00.002-07:00

Just because I lack a penis, it does NOT mean I don't know when I'm getting fucked! When I bring my car in for a coolant issue, there is no need to fiddle with the already precarious situation I've got going with the door handles. I've been dealing with it for four winters now. It's not the door handle, it's the rods inside the door. They are jacked and don't like winter. Come spring, they will work fine. If you would have called, you would have learned that rather than replacing the door handle and not fixing any problem.

Dating advice from my father.

2009-01-15T12:00:00.003-07:00

Last night my dad told me he'd sell my sister or I a guy's phone number for $50. I was confused. Why would I want this guy's number? He said it was so we could call him up for a date and said the $50 was a "finders fee".

Now, over the years my dad has pretty much minded his own business when it came to my love life. We have a don't ask, don't tell thing going on and it works. However, occasionally he lets me know that there may be someone worth going on a date with. The thing is, there is usually something in it for him. This last guy, Mr. Finders Fee, is a helicopter pilot. My dad met him at home. He is part of a group that uses helicopters to locate and round up wild horses in the high desert of southwest Idaho. This weekend he took my dad on a ride in a helicopter that "needed a few more hours to be certified air-worthy"! Now, dad says being a helicopter pilot is where it's at and I am pretty sure if either of us had the money for the lessons HE'd be signed up for the next class. That's what he gets from Mr. Finders Fee, a potential son-in-law with fringe benefits.

The same thing happened when I was living in Alaska. I got a voicemail from my dad one day with a stranger's name and phone number and instructions to call. When I asked my dad about it he said it was the son of a guy that he had met at the airport where he stores his plane. Told me this guy was a pilot too and living in the same small Alaskan town that I was in. What a coincidence! I put it off for a few weeks and then when dad asked how it went I told him I wasn't calling a perfect stranger! He said that was fine, but that he had been pulling apart my car all summer, getting it ready for North Dakota and that if I didn't call him he wouldn't put my car back together.

I called. We went out for a drink. We talked about his girlfriend. It was classic. My dad was bummed he wouldn't have a potential son-in-law with Alaskan bush pilot connections.

Why can't he get the number of a certified massage therapist that owns his own, private, tropical island?

One crazy day.

2009-01-15T11:39:00.002-07:00

A bit of venting...

Car broke yesterday. The block heater fell out and all the coolant escaped while I was on my way to the mechanic's. Had to have a tow from a tow truck driver that smelled like wonderful cologne and rescue me. I am getting a plug installed in the hole where the block heater used to be. Problem is that it has to be ordered from the dealer, which means that it won't be ready for me to pay for and drive until tomorrow. In the mean time I am still working my 9-5, sharing my sister-roomie's ginormous truck, needing to do laundry for a trip that I am leaving for tomorrow night, wanting to meet the girlfriends at a local hot-spot for happy hour and sweet-potato fries, AND my somewhat estranged cousin is coming to town for a couple days and wants to try to get together. She just called. She's on the road. Six hours away.

All I want is a good beer and a good sweet-potato fry.

I also don't have any money. I mean, I have money. I just don't have as much as I would like. Luckily I had my Ramsey savings for the car and I'd been saving for cash for the trip and I have birthday money coming and the roomie is going to buy my ski pass and a paycheck from job #2 either today or tomorrow. It's just that it was supposed to be SO simple this month. Save up spending money for my trip. Use everything else for bills, which I am trying to squeeze and extra $236/month into. Apparently, it isn't happening this month.

Maybe the best decision is to cancel with the girlfriends, order pizza with the sister-roomie and cousin and have a laundry party at home.

Tomorrow I leave. I get to spend two and a half glorious days in the sun of southern California where I don't have to think about any of this shit.

Almost Famous.

2009-01-09T13:23:00.002-07:00

I realized this afternoon, as I was driving back to work from lunch, that I often day dream about what I would talk about with Jay Leno should I ever become famous and invited to his show. I usually don't realize that I'm doing it until I bust out loud laughing. And then I just laugh more at myself for laughing about some silly thing I would say on television. It's been a jovial afternoon.

Ba Humbug 2008

2009-01-08T21:34:00.024-07:00

Lets just say that this year was different than last. The first major difference being the fact that the parentals and youngest sister traveled to my place the weekend before to celebrate with the second sister. Mom packed lots of stuff.

Exhibit A

Seriously? They were here for TWO days.

Then, THEN, Dad found out that they drove 6 hours and no one was opening presents. That did not go over well and in the end he and both sisters got to open one each. You'd think that'd stop the present opening whining, but it didn't. However, they stuck it out like little troopers for a few more days.

It was a free DVD of animal hijinks's from Wild America. Guess what we watched for the rest of the night?
Locally made peppermint-vanilla sugar scrub. Spendy shit, but I was trying hard to stick to the handmade pledge as much as I could.

Yes, that says axe. She thinks she needs it for campfire wood. What she doesn't know is that kind of camping she does involves a hotel and running water; thus no need for firewood.

A few days after they left here I left here to go to my childhood home. On the way there from the airport we stopped at Great Uncle S's home.

He has a cat. I've named it Chicken Rustler because...

he also has miniature yard roosters.

Dad also had to stop at the gas station for some Christmas card stuffers. I had him pick me up one too.

It wasn't a winner. Sad. Nothing like commemorating the gift of the Lord Jesus like Santa, no, like Santa playing winter golf on a $2.00 scratch ticket!!

It has been tradition, for my entire life, that Christmas Eve is spent and my Granma's house.

This is Granny D, with Sassy, her new Schnauzer.

When my Granpa was alive, he would make chicken and dumplin's. Why, you ask? Well, according to second sister, that is what poor people do, and back then most of the families were poor. Now, he's gone but the tradition lives on. Now, back in the day when the family patriarch was alive, he followed no recipe. So, as he aged and it came apparent that he was old, and not going to be around forever to cook the dumplings. Thus, my Uncle T took it upon himself to write a recipe. He did this by following Granpa around while he cooked and writing down everything that he did to make the dumplings AND every time he took a sip of beer. [Side note, Granpa was an alcoholic who could down a sixer while cooking and still function properly by dinnertime.] Now, the recipe reads something like "add water to well in flour, take a sip, fold in flour, take a sip". Where the problem lies is that now my uncles make the dumplings, they are not alcoholics and they are not sipping beer, they are swigging rum! Each year the demand is higher, so they make a bigger batch which leads to more drinking. The result is that the dumplings are either raw, or scorched, mushy, or generally bad; because the cooks are shitfaced. SO this year I told Granny D that I was going to supervise and that my Dad was cooking too. He doesn't drink and he's also my Granpa's son. The other cooks married into the family. Somedays I think they did just to be able to make shitty dumplings and get drunk on Christmas eve. Because of circumstances out of my control, I wasn't able to really supervise. I was only able to help stir the last few batches. They called me the Designated Dipper.

I watched to make sure they were in long enough to cook but not scorch. They were still not good. I've decided that that the problem, when they are cooked and not burnt, is that they try to make way too many in one pot! It becomes a dumpling paste rather than dumplings bobbing in a broth.

After dinner it was time for games. There was one my Granma loves, its like a white elephant exchange, but she buys all the stuff, usually to from the discount bin at the local discount store. The best part about the game is that its all out, adults and kids, and you can end up with 3 gifts, while the little toddler next to you might be empty handed. The true spirit of the American Christmas! This year game time was stepped up a notch. My mother is hooked on shocking games. Yes, SHOCKING, as in electricity hitting your skin.

The first game has two joy sticks connected by a wire. It is a two-player game and the object is for each person to hold on to their respective handles for as long as possible. The game starts out with a mild shock, then a rest, then a slightly stronger shock, and a slightly shorter rest. The winner is whichever fool holds on the longest!

Sister 3 is a pro. She is the one who initially commandeered the games from a classmate. Note the expression on her face. It is not one of tom-foolery, but of sheer concentration and pain as she uses her second hand to prevent the shocked hand from releasing. Also note my dad, in the background, laughing at them both.

In this demonstration, Aunt W is "playing" while both my mother and Sister 3 hold her hand down. It is not enough that it hurts so much you wan to let go, in our family loosing is just NOT an option.

Although this video has little entertainment value, is has good representation of the sound of the game. When it is shocking, it will emit sci-fi like electrical noises. The video also serves to show how those family members not playing will in fact laugh at you while in pain.

Now, in this video we see two fools concur the game. My own mother and my great Uncle L. His sister and niece laugh on from the background. Now, it is still unsure if they actually completed the game or if one of them accidentally hit the off switch, but either way, they made it the furthest of anyone all night. It is also a good study in the different ways people deal with stress and pain. For example, my mom had been having heart palpitations for weeks, and STILL PLAYED, and hollered her fears away.

The second game is similar but with four handles. At the top of each handle is a button. There are several ways to play this game, but the most popular one that night was the first option. The game starts, the music starts, the lights flash and when it turns green the first person to press their button shocks the other three. At least with this one you have a better chance of having no pain.

Sister 3, getting ready to lay the smack down!

Young and old alike, there are no byes on Christmas!

The winner, and still champion, Sister 3.

After games it was time to open presents. It was a quick event this year because there were only around 20 people present at the time. Prior years it's been as many as a bazillion all crowded into one tiny house. This year Uncle B included Arizona State Scratch tickets. Convenient in that we were in Idaho.

Sister 3 and a looser. Mine was a looser too, and Sister 2's.

Uncle B with some winners. No one wants to mail in a ticket for $5, so everyone gave him their winners!

Sister 3 and her new best friend. She is almost 3 and is learning to count. She can count to 11, but only if she starts at 1 and goes straight through, if you interrupt her, she has to start over.

We were trying to wear her out, but nothing worked. This is just after I told her to drop and give me 20. Now, we know she can't count that high, but what we didn't know is that she'd been doing yoga with her mom and sister for a while. This a push-up down-dog combo.

After the Christmas Eve festivities we were unwinding at my parents house when Sister 3 and dad decided that they didn't get to open enough presents yet. They rummaged through the pile and found ones with their names on them. (Also why I stopped putting names on the ones I give years ago!)

Their spoils, his a flannel lined shirt (to add to his collection), her's a light sweater. Both got huge, "we snuck presents victoriously" smiles.

The rest of the Holiday trip went smoothly. Nothing too eventful. Dad and I tried to get into a rural Gulch, but the road was snowed in. We also ran into a pack of range horses that wouldn't get out of our way. Not for anything. Not for honking and revving engines, and not even when the road widened.

The culprits!

Finally, FINALLY we ended up at a cattle guard that the horses wouldn't pass. Those rat bastards were trapped! We pulled way off and Dad went and herded them back towards the ranch.

"Not so fast, are you now?! That's right, get yo asses back home!" Is something similar to what I was yelling at them.

The Mighty Horse Herder.

Near the gulch, behind the horses so we had to go slow; thus, lots of opportunity for sight-seeing.

Oh, I also shot a gun. My father was rather upset to find out that one of his daughters had never shot a shotgun.

As you can see, I was quite thrilled with the experience.

That pop bottle was recycling!!

On my last day there, I met some friends in Boise for lunch. We were partially snowed in so K's little bro cleared us a path.

What else are little bro's good for? I wish I had one!

I made him some high-tech protective covers for his suede shoes. He appreciated it.

Merry Chirstmas to all, and to all a good night!

Messages from my cell phone.

2009-01-06T10:22:00.002-07:00

Nothing like a pissed off and caffeinated woman to set off the pep boys!

How to annoy me.

2009-01-06T10:15:00.002-07:00

"Borrow" my desk in the morning and then spill your stank coffee all over my notes and paperwork; even the cute monogram ones I got for Christmas. AND not clean it up properly!

Creed # 76

2008-12-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

People who drive mini-vans should not be allowed to flip the bird to any other fellow drivers; especially when said mini-van drivers are cutting others off.

Creed #42

2008-12-25T18:19:00.001-07:00

People who shop at Walmart should not be allowed to complain that anything they buy, anywhere, is made in China.

Home Remedies

2008-12-08T20:33:00.003-07:00

Me: "Hello, E, I was opening a can of tomato paste and as soon as the blade of the opener cracked through the metal the paste went a flyin'. I think some went in my mouth and I'm pretty sure I inadvertently licked my finger during the clean up. Do you think I am going to die from botulism poisoning?"

E: "No, but you better drink some wine just to be on the safe side."

Me: "Wine?"

E: "Yeah! To kill the botulism bacteria!"

Me: "Wow, you should have gone to medical school!"

[status:i didn't get botulism, moral=wine saves lives]

Friend Fail

2008-12-01T11:42:00.002-07:00

Me: "Oh look, that guy is helping that drunk girl with her coat. How sweet. Wait, that's ERICA!"
K: hahahahaha

Life Goal #154

2008-12-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

Drive the Hagemeister combine.

Needs: Holiday Significant Other

2008-12-01T11:32:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I wish I had a significant other just so that I would have an excuse to not go home for the holidays.

Faulty Advice:Friend

2008-11-25T18:50:00.003-07:00

Advice: "I wouldn't worry, I would just stick my tongue down his throat. What if the world ended tomorrow?"

What I said: "What if the world DOESN'T end tomorrow!"

Advice2: "Then you could go on tomorrow knowing you can do anything you set your mind to? Or end up in the sack with the potential love of your life! BONUS!"

What I should have said: (nothing in the first place)

Promises, promises.

2008-11-25T18:03:00.002-07:00

Some day there will be knitting and paddling posts on this blog.

Messages from my cell phone.

2008-11-25T17:17:00.001-07:00

Product name fail = two-headed body creamer.

Messages from my cell phone.

2008-11-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

this is a god damn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation. lol. i love it!

Messages from my cell phone.

2008-11-25T17:13:00.002-07:00

Well, I hope you like it in the pooper, honey.

The strangeness of me.

2008-11-25T10:37:00.003-07:00

I don't know what it says about me, but I rather enjoy reading my own blog. I get a kick out of each post. Well, not the Bah Humbug one, that one is still too fresh and I am coming up on another great time this year, so I try to forget how awful last year was. But the rest are cool.

The Hazards of Shopping at Whole Foods # 48

2008-11-20T18:28:00.001-07:00

The person shopping next to you just might be wearing a full-length, bright turquoise, velor cape.

Inspiration from the net.

2008-11-20T13:50:00.005-07:00

I saw this today on Post Secret. It's been my mantra for a long time now, but I would have never thought of it as a secret. It makes me wonder what other secrets I may not know I have.

My turn.

2008-11-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

When will it be my turn for...love?

How to Annoy Me

2008-11-20T10:13:00.003-07:00

Flush the clean, empty toilet BEFORE you use it!

We live in the United States of America! The water we use to flush our toilets is the SAME water you are washing your hands with AND drinking. You do NOT need a "fresh" bowl to do your business! Water is a very precious commodity and it's people like you that are a major contributor to the fact that the world's drinkable water supplies are being used faster than they can be replenished!

Wondering

2008-11-20T09:11:00.001-07:00

Am I the only professional adult that doesn't get up until after 8am but still makes it to work by 9am?

Faulty Advice: Mother

2008-11-18T18:55:00.002-07:00

Advice: "You better wear clean underware, what whould happen if you were in an accident and you underware was dirty?"

What I should have said back then: "If I'm in an accident, the paramedics better be paying more attention to saving my life than checking for shit stains."

What I should say now that I have vivid background in biological functions: "If an accident were to occur, the chances of one voiding his/her own bladder and/or bowels is very high; clean undies or not!"

Traffic Trespasses

2008-11-18T17:25:00.003-07:00

Today, while in the evening traffic, I looked over at the car next to me to see the DRIVER going to town, drummer style. WITH. THE. STICKS. Really? People do that? I mean, we all beat out a little rhythm on the wheel once in a while when the tunes are righteous; but to carry around actual drumsticks? It's almost as odd as the person I saw walking down the road wearing a motorcycle helmet with no motorcycle in sight. Almost.

Bah Humbug!

2008-11-12T11:45:00.004-07:00

Whilst searching my email for a tater tot hot dish recipe this morning I came across this email. It's a description of Christmas 2007 but could easily be modified to any year with my family. It's also why I have been shopping for a flask on Etsy. Yes, I am going back this year. Masochist? Perhaps.

"EVERY year I go back to Idaho for Christmas and EVERY year I swear to myself it will be the last time. Next year I have to keep up my end of the bargain to myself. Here is a synopsis of this year's events:
1) After driving many hours, I met mother in Boise for stocking stuffer shopping. I dealt with rolling eyes at everything I suggested. I say, don't ask what I want if you don't want to hear the answer!
2) Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It was a great tree, but now the branches droop straight down b/c of 500 "wedding crystals" weighing them down. Wedding in that mom scavenged them from a wedding and "has to save the crystals for when her daughters get married!"
3) Christmas Eve dinner (i.e. CHICKEN and dumplin's) was 4 hours late. It was supposed to be at 5pm, we show up at 5 only to find out that the chicken is just getting de-boned by Uncle B. At the same time, my 4'8" granny is running around yelling at everyone to not start cooking until Uncle T gets there. Meanwhile, everyone crowds around ONE tray of tiny, bottom-of-the-bag chip pieces and a lone cheese ball, starving. Be careful or you will loose a hand! Thank God Cousin M brought rolls! 7pm, Dad and I run to the grocery to pick up more chicken stock while Cousin C runs home to get a bigger pot; those damn dumplin's are gettin' made no matter what Little Granny has to say about it! Uncle T has not shown up, Cousin M (daughter of Uncle T) is pissed at her mother, who is also mad that Uncle T is not home from work (2+ hours late). We still do not know if it was one of his affairs or coke addiction that kept him.
Meanwhile, Uncles J and W, both married into this crazy family, have started the dumplin' dough at my father's direct orders. Side bar: the recipe was created astutely when my grandfather made them before dying of liver failure. The recipe includes every time you need to "take a drink" while mixing and rolling the dough. By the time someone is done making these, they are toasted. This was especially true this year as we had no other food for the cooks!
The food finally starts cooking, with the help of my tiny granny mico-managing her sons and sons-in-law. Table set-up time. Card and patio tables are set up with chairs in the living room of her TINY home. Anyone who happened to be sitting down during the set-up procedure is stuck where they are. Including me, next to Step-cousin C's obnoxious 4-year-old boy who thinks jello is a toy as well as the antique table cloth he insists on pushing the jello into!
Tables set up, I manage to wiggle my way to the kitchen to get my dinner of dumplin's, cheesy green beans, and a roll...everything else had been scavenged while we waited 4 hours for dinner. To get back to a space where I could eat I had to go out to the garage, then out of the house, then through the snow with my plate, cup, etc, and then come back in the front door. I had Sister W hand me a chair, over about 50 youngn's taking up space at the "grownup table". I set up shop right there, in front of the front door. No one was comin' nor goin' `till I was done. Meanwhile, the decibel level is about400 b/c they there are 50 kids running around and 50 old people who should have turned up the volume on their hearing aids!
4) After I had finished eating, THANK GOD, I was sitting next to Great-uncle L, who had had three teeth pulled just that morning and was having broth from the dumpin's. I hadn't been paying attention to what he was doing and he had this dark-meat brown thing in his hand. I thought hearing aid at first, then I thought it was a piece of chicken. It was neither. It was the gauze from his mouth! Taken out right there in the living room while he ate. Apparently, he needed to replace it. He stood up and was headed to the front door. TO THROW THE USED GAUZE INTO THE FRONT YARD!(Granny lives in a subdivision, not on the farm!) I told him "NO!" because half of the kids were making snowballs in the snow slush. Luckily he stopped on his way out; however, he put the old gauze in the dirt of one of Granny's house plants and then went on his way to putting the fresh wound bandage in. Sister W and I just about died right there on the spot.
5) About an hour later I was feeling pretty sick because I had just ate a ton of food that I don't normally eat (e.g. chicken). The days before were full of meat with little veggies and my bowels were not happy with me, so i was extra full. Mother had escaped to the airport to get Sister A. So, I was stuck in the mess of loudness, tables, kids, bloody gauze, and banana cream pie with coconut on top and coconut cream pie with nothing on top. The cooks were drunk and toasting anything they could think of! Their respective wives were crying. Their children were dragging out their fathers so that they would get home safe where they could then pass out from too much dumplin' cooking. Pictures of dead elk were being passed around and Great-uncle J was trying to make fun of me by telling me how cruel it is to animals cause he thinks I'm part of PETA, or something. I tell him its organic and he cracks up.
6) Mother FINALLY gets back with the car and I can go lie down, the immediate fam make it out at about 11:30pm with presents that were never opened cause dinner went so late. We go home and all look forward to the typical family Christmas day, presents, naps, food, naps, and movies.
7) Christmas Day.....just the immediate fam, we open presents, take pictures, yadda yadda. Then we get a surprise visit from Granny, Uncles B and W, and Aunt W. They arrived at about 11am for cinnamon rolls and punch and then were supposed to leave. Uncle W finagled his way into an invite for dinner, which wasn't even in the oven yet!
8) SIX, 6, hours of entertaining. I tried and tried to take a nap after a long evening the night before, but Granny kept coming in and hitting me with a pillow. She didn't even want to chat when I was awake, but heaven forbid I sleep. To escape, Sister A locked me into a bedroom. Soon after, Granny came pounding on the door like a toddler, but I didn't get up for two whole hours! Afterwards Granny and Uncle B wanted to know how I would sleep that night since I took such a long nap. They don't know that we all got our metabolisms from my mother, who can out-sleep us all.
9) Meanwhile Mother made Sister A put in the movie "Knocked Up". Sister A resisted but after being nagged for 20 minutes she finally caved. BAD IDEA....ever try watching that movie with your parents, grandmother, redneck aunt and uncles? DON'T.
10) After dinner they were gone like the wind, Thank God. It was finally quiet after TWO days! The immediate fam all laid on the couch, looking like zombies, watching TV while Mother freed the tree of its crystal chains. I packed and woke up at the crack of 4:50am to catch a flight back home, where I slept all day without anyone hitting me with a pillow or banging on the door.
11) I am not going back next year!!!
12) How was your Christmas?
13) Oh, I need your recipe for tater-tot hot dish too."

Relating to my post about raisins...

2008-11-11T18:30:00.006-07:00

How to annoy me.

2008-11-11T10:16:00.003-07:00

When I ask you if you've made a knitted ipod-coozie, say no and then proceed to use the company printer to print of 1/2 dozen patterns for one; each uglier than the last, and using up WAY too much paper and toner than needed for a simple knitted tube!

Bloggity Blog

2008-11-10T11:12:00.003-07:00

Me: Lovn' the fact that blogger apps are so "advanced" that the spell check feature recognizes the modern acceptance and necessity of words like "wanna" and "apps".

Blogger: Love you back

Me: Now if we could only get it to recognize the necessity of "lovn' ".

Television Gods

2008-11-10T11:05:00.003-07:00

Why, oh WHY do the powers that be hook me on television shows that are destined to fail?! This last time I was even going online to catch up on what I missed. Then, after four GLORIOUS episodes it was pulled.

NEWS FLASH! You didn't loose viewership because of the show's content, you lost it b/c of its time slot...Friday night! I understand its a hard night to stick to, but come on; give us single gals with nothing better to do on a Friday night something more to watch than re-runs of Super Nanny and the Ghost Whisperer! You wanna talk crap? THAT show should have been pulled years ago!

Thank you, Amen.

Workout Buddy

2008-11-06T09:18:00.003-07:00

I have a new workout buddy. We are going to drop 10 pounds by the time we see each other at Christmas. She lives 400 miles away but we are doing this thing over email and text messages. Starting out with 45 minutes of cardio 3 times a week and 2 liters of water every day. No, dear workout buddy, Powerade does not count as water. I am so stoked about this that I've already lost two lbs just from thinking about it and eating lots of left-over cake at work! True story. Got on the scale just this morning. This new plan is AWESOME!

Healthy Habits

2008-11-05T14:22:00.002-07:00

You may think that I look this way because I am lazy. The fact is that I look this way because of beer.

And rum.

And maybe a little bit of late-night pancakes.

I am...

2008-11-05T09:51:00.002-07:00

enjoying the 1st real snow of the season. It's still white and looks like sugar frosting. Apparently, I am also hungry for cupcakes.

How to annoy me.

2008-11-04T09:37:00.002-07:00

Ask me for dating advice rather than ask me on a date.

PAIN!

2008-11-01T12:12:00.003-06:00

In my head, I am curled up into a tiny ball wishing I had been born a boy. In reality I am at work pretending to be a pleasant person. O woe the conflict of being me!

Things I should not say.

2008-10-28T15:34:00.005-06:00

"I was up late last night watching Antiques Roadshow."

Why I should not say it: 1) At my age, being up late for anything other than sex, drugs, or rock and roll should not be freely admitted to nor offered voluntarily. 2) Antiques Roadshow, Seriously?!

Secret Signals, this one dedicated to K.

2008-10-28T10:12:00.008-06:00

To set up the story a bit and clarify the dedication let me take you back a few years. Actually, lets go back about 12 years or so. When I was in high school I had (and still do) a good friend, K. She SWORE she saw bikers, those on motorized bikes, not pedal bikes, giving each other a "secret wave" as they passed one another. The wave was like the "low 5", arm down, palm forward. Like a wave "hello" but down by the knee. Now, I clearly remember thinking that K was crazy, and if you knew her back then (and today) you'd be on my side. I think she may still have scars from this issue. However, about a year later I was livin' it up at the Burgdorf Hot Springs and ran into a small group of bikers. [That pool was a hotspot for an eclectic mix. My 16-year-old self once spent an hour talking to a stranger about the mushroom "convention" in "town" and about psychedelics.] I asked the biker about this secret wave and he confirmed it to be true with the explanation that if you wave with your hand up, the wind may catch it and accidentally bitch slap the ol' lady on the back of your bike. This was confirmed again, much later, while in grad school, by my Harley riding roommate. So, at least on this one, K was correct.

Flash forward to this morning. I live on a pretty busy street that feeds people from the 'burbs into downtown. I can look out my window to determine if my commute will be bad. If traffic is backed up to my door, then I know to take the back roads. This morning was one of those back roads days. Usually there aren't many other cars on this route, but today there were at least 6 ahead and also behind me. The speed limit is probably about 25-30mph along this route but there are HUGE speed bumps and the ol' jeep just can't keep it together going that fast over the bumps. Usually, I putter along at about 15mph. Yeah it pisses off the drivers behind me, but it prevents parts from falling off of my car, so they can just deal with it. There is a final stretch of road that drops down to 15mph anyways and then its straight open road the rest of the way to work. Today, as I was rounding the last curve, I passed a biker coming in the opposite direction. He was looking straight at me and patting his helmet. I was confused. Was he trying to tell me to turn my lights on? No, it was plenty light out. Could he have a fancy helmet with radio speakers that were on the fritz and he was tapping them back into working order? I thought, yes, but really I just didn't know. What I do know is that the car in front of me was going even slower than I and as I caught up to it and came into the last stretch of road I saw what the helmet tap must have meant. Coppers. Two of them with their motorcycles parked on the side of the road. One was writing a driver a ticket, the other was standing on the side of the road with his radar gun a' firein'. I made it past him with no movement from the radar man, but as soon as I did I saw him start to walk. Fearing the worse, I looked in my rear view mirror. Much to my relief, he waved the car behind me ahead but pointed the following car off the road. That same type of driver that is always on my ass through that stretch of road when I am going 15 and he/she is late for work and thinks tailgating me will make me go faster. Sweet justice.

Funny how not getting a ticket doesn't make you feel as inversely happy as getting a ticket makes you feel sad.

So, thank you mister helmet tapper man. You possibly saved me out of a ticket and from now on, when I pass a cop I will signal other drivers by tapping my own head; or whatever the car equivalent is.

2008-10-27T09:40:00.001-06:00

As I was eating breakfast this morning I came to realize that I rather dislike raisins. They taste and feel like grapes that have spent a couple months in hell and then came back to spread the dread. I only had a few and the smoky taste is still stuck in my mouth! ech.

How to annoy me.

2008-10-17T11:16:00.001-06:00

Be the only person to keep giving me annoying things to write about on my blog.

Life Goal #274

2008-10-15T17:09:00.000-06:00

Get someone that I know to name their child after me.

How to annoy me.

2008-10-15T10:21:00.001-06:00

Eat breakfast at our communally shared desk and leave greazzzy smears and dried crumbs all over and NEVER clean them up!

How to annoy me.

2008-10-14T15:05:00.003-06:00

Taking a lesson from early Dooce....

When I say that I am going to grab my keys and wallet so that we can go to lunch, just sit there until I get back from grabbing said items and THEN get your ass up to retrieve your own damn keys and wallet.

Fail.

2008-10-13T14:36:00.003-06:00

Professional Email Fail 1

Have you seen Failblog.org? If not, go now, its a great time waster.

Today I had my own fail. I had received a simple request about some past research I did. It was the first request I've had, so I was nervous about how to respond and not sound like a blubbering fool. Thus, I "forwarded" the request to my old adviser and asked for his advice. An hour later I got an email from the initial professional that said "Ooops" in GIANT letters across the top. Apparently, on Monday mornings the 'forward' and 'reply' buttons are switched. Luckily the professional was lighthearted about the faux pas. Information was exchanged and embarrassment was kept to a minimum, except for when I realized my spell checker missed college which was supposed to be colleague!

Technology 1:RP 0

and, lo, it begins.

2008-10-13T09:15:00.001-06:00

lo, and the heaven's opened and the ray of light was shown down upon the new zion. and, lo, in this zion there was a maiden. and lo, this maiden had grown tiresome of her daily duties, and lo, she took up onto a mountain where she could see the vast valley before her. and lo she opened her heart and rent it to the land, that they might take it and stomp on it and lo, in hopes, love it. and lo, this maiden joined onto the internets, and went hand upon hand into the world, spreading news, good cheer, and lamentations upon the peoples of blogger. and lo, the maiden had many an hour for this task as she did not know a man for a very, very, VERY long time. in the name of jesus christ, amen

TEN

2008-07-29T10:11:00.001-06:00

In honor of passing on the meme...

Ten seconds ago I was opening a soda.
Ten minutes ago I was handeling tubes of human blood
Ten hours ago I was sleeping soundly thanks to cold medicine.
Ten days ago I was exploring the Mirror Lake Highway for the 1st time.
Ten weeks ago I was packing my belongings for a move into storage.
Ten months ago I was hopeful for a trip to Alaska but tied down with writing and work.
Ten years ago I was mournig the loss of a loved one's loved one.
—– —– —–
Ten years from now I will be debt free and living for myself.
Ten months from now I will be smaller and healthier.
Ten weeks from now I will be psyching myself up for the holiday season.
Ten days from now I will be a the Redrock Women's Music Festival.
Ten hours from now I will be meditating.
Ten minutes from now I will working with DNA.
Ten seconds from now I'll be missing friends.

Messages from my cell phone.

2008-07-09T18:30:00.000-06:00

what follows is a factual event.

the background story is that i recieved my jury duty notice late in the mail; two days after i was supposed to appear! at the bottom of the notice was a very menacing note informing that failure to appear may lead to fines and JAIL TIME!! so, during this stint of homelessness i've had all mail forwarded to a friends house. I was checking to make sure i hadn't gotten anything from the county....

ME: Have I gotten anything in the mail? p.s.Remind me to tell you about jury duty tomorrow!

Friend: LOL. so far all i've seen is a confirmation of change of address change from the post

ME: Ok, good, I don't want to go to jail!

Friend: It might not be so bad, you might meet someone.

humph!

I've Never

2008-07-09T02:19:00.001-06:00

In the spirit of my dear friend E, I am posting an "I never" blog for today. For those of you unfamiliar with what she is doing I'll give you a little background. She has DEDICATED her summer days to trying new things. Each day she has to do something that she has never done before. Some are simple, others, not so much.

My "I never's" for today are, wait for it....turban folding and hair braiding. Yes, folding of a cloth for to be used as a real turban. Let me tell ya folks, those suckers are LONG. I was a bit leery when first asked, but I was at work and I wanted make sure the teachers felt cared for so I helped out. Now, if I ever run into anyone on the street struggling with their turban, I can confidently step up and help! The second wasn't so much new except for it was for another teacher friend of mine who is a guy. Nothing wrong with long hair on guys, right? BUT his is longer than mine and I am now jealous.

Namaste.

p.s. 3rd I never for today, actually considered DRIVING the width of the state of OREGON with my mother and sister for a "vacation". I must be dehydrated or something.

Political Platform

2007-05-15T02:20:00.000-06:00

Below is a list of the 10 keys points of the platform of a american political party.

What do YOU think?

10 KEY VALUES

1. GRASSROOTS DEMOCRACY

Every human being deserves a say in the decisions that affect his or her life and should not be subject to the will of another. Therefore, we will work to increase public participation at every level of government and to ensure that our public representatives are fully accountable to the people who elect them. We will also work to create new types of political organizations which expand the process of participatory democracy by directly including citizens in the decision-making process.

2. SOCIAL JUSTICE AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

All persons should have the rights and opportunity to benefit equally from the resources afforded us by society and the environment. We must consciously confront in ourselves, our organizations, and society at large, barriers such as racism and class oppression, sexism and homophobia, ageism and disability, which act to deny fair treatment and equal justice under the law.

3. ECOLOGICAL WISDOM

Human societies must operate with the understanding that we are part of nature, not separate from nature.
We must maintain an ecological balance and live within the ecological and resource limits of our communities and our planet. We support a sustainable society which utilizes resources in such a way that future generations will benefit and not suffer from the practices of our generation. To this end we must practice agriculture which replenishes the soil; move to an energy efficient economy; and live in ways that respect the integrity of natural systems.

4. NON-VIOLENCE

It is essential that we develop effective alternatives to society's current patterns of violence. We will work to demilitarize, and eliminate weapons of mass destruction, without being naive about the intentions of other governments.
We recognize the need for self-defense and the defense of others who are in helpless situations. We promote non-violent methods to oppose practices and policies with which we disagree, and will guide our actions toward lasting personal, community and global peace.

5. DECENTRALIZATION

Centralization of wealth and power contributes to social and economic injustice, environmental destruction, and militarization. Therefore, we support a restructuring of social, political and economic institutions away from a system which is controlled by and mostly benefits the powerful few, to a democratic, less bureaucratic system. Decision-making should, as much as possible, remain at the individual and local level, while assuring that civil rights are protected for all citizens.

6. COMMUNITY BASED ECONOMICS

Redesign our work structures to encourage employee ownership and workplace democracy. Develop new economic activities and institutions that will allow us to use our new technologies in ways that are humane, freeing, ecological and accountable, and responsive to communities.
Establish some form of basic economic security, open to all.
Move beyond the narrow "job ethic" to new definitions of "work," jobs" and "income" that reflect the changing economy.
Restructure our patterns of income distribution to reflect the wealth created by those outside the formal monetary economy: those who take responsibility for parenting, housekeeping, home gardens, community volunteer work, etc.
Restrict the size and concentrated power of corporations without discouraging superior efficiency or technological innovation.

7. FEMINISM AND GENDER EQUITY

We have inherited a social system based on male domination of politics and economics. We call for the replacement of the cultural ethics of domination and control with more cooperative ways of interacting that respect differences of opinion and gender. Human values such as equity between the sexes, interpersonal responsibility, and honesty must be developed with moral conscience. We should remember that the process that determines our decisions and actions is just as important as achieving the outcome we want.

8. RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY

We believe it is important to value cultural, ethnic, racial, sexual, religious and spiritual diversity, and to promote the development of respectful relationships across these lines.
We believe that the many diverse elements of society should be reflected in our organizations and decision-making bodies, and we support the leadership of people who have been traditionally closed out of leadership roles. We acknowledge and encourage respect for other life forms than our own and the preservation of biodiversity.

9. PERSONAL AND GLOBAL RESPONSIBILITY

We encourage individuals to act to improve their personal well-being and, at the same time, to enhance ecological balance and social harmony. We seek to join with people and organizations around the world to foster peace, economic justice, and the health of the planet.

10. FUTURE FOCUS AND SUSTAINABILITY

Our actions and policies should be motivated by long-term goals. We seek to protect valuable natural resources, safely disposing of or "unmaking" all waste we create, while developing a sustainable economics that does not depend on continual expansion for survival. We must counterbalance the drive for short-term profits by assuring that economic development, new technologies, and fiscal policies are responsible to future generations who will inherit the results of our actions.
Make the quality of life, rather than open-ended economic growth, the focus of future thinking.

Late nigth poetry riddle.

2006-12-12T01:58:00.000-07:00

why do i say
why do i do
why do i think
why do i feel
why do i love
why do i hate
why do i breathe
?
i say to be free
i do to move
i think to master
i feel to care
i love to feel
i hate to understand
and
i breath to hate
i breath to love
i breath to feel
i breath to think
i breath to do
i breath to say
i breath to remain

Nat & Matt

2006-10-08T18:33:00.000-06:00

choose life
choose positivity
choose the golden rule
choose to be at peace with yourself
choose salvation
scegliete di fare una differenza
choose to make a difference
choissisez de faire une difference
choose to be different
choose to be a diva
choose to be funky
choose to be yourself
choose to make a fashion statement
viavegan.com

Green Wal-Marts and Wisconsin Wallaby's

2006-05-25T20:04:00.000-06:00

so...i made it back from my michigan road trip. it may look close on the map, especially since it by way of small filler states, but michigan is a long ways away. i went through 6 states in 15 hours. that is how long it takes to go through idaho the long way. especailly when driving in ol' 4-banger buck. however, because of the limited speed of approximately 75mi/hr i was able to notice quite alot. for instance, once crossing the minnesota/wisconsin border, all the walmarts change from blue to green...are they trying to be more eco-friendly, trying to match the backdrop, who knows...who really knows. also, wisconsin has a lot of road kill and i mean ALOT! i've driven quite a few country mile and have never seen as many carcasses as on i-94. most were deer or racoon. some unidentifiable. the most astounding discovery was of the rare wisconsin wallabee, in this case, also road-kill. now, i know you may be thinking that i am mistaking a deer for wallabee. i am not. at first i thought deer, but once i got closer and passed at 75mi/hr, i confirmed the sighting of the rare species. thought, until now, to exist only on the australian continent, the wisconsin wallabee is rather deer like, but without the cloven hoves, antlers, and with the addition of extra cute-ness. other observations include but are not limited to: 1) amazingly few cows in wisconsin for the amount of cheese produced there, perhaps it is from wallabee milk 2) illinois toll construction is not fun.be sure to start out with a full tank, lots of change (especially pennies and nickles, the tollies really LOVE that), a good mix of road-trip songs, and lots of water (but not too much water, no one wants to merge off of that shit just to pee) 3) near chicago there are also these structures called "oasis". i am not sure of their purpose, but i know it has something to do with mcdonalds, starbucks, and a great view of i-294 4) dont stop for gas in gary, indiana. the song is great, the town...not so much. 5) michigan has sand dunes, right along the freeway, covered in trees. what type of ecotonal succesion is going on there?!?! 6) dont try to sight see in downtown grand rapids just as the pearl jam concert is geting out 7) if you do go to downtown g.r. go to bob's. it stands for big old building, its a great place. 8) gun lake is a beautiful place for a wedding, especially at bay point. but dont get them mixed up and say the wedding is at gun point, you will get odd looks. 9) blythe is my favirot baby, even though she hated our resot room, especially once i bloked her from the balcony after she attempted to squeeze through the railing bars. and 10) bob's goat cheese and shroom pizza is delish, goat cheese from a wisconsin gas station...not so delish. So, at the cumulation of this trip i have brought my state count up to 24. almost half. i was about to go home via iowa, but didn't think it was fair to the state count. if i could just get back east again i know i could knock of about 15 in one day. those states are sooo tiny. if you ever need route advice for fargo-grand rapids, i'm your go-to gal.